The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who severs the bond of kinship with him
Chapter: Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives
Authentic
hadith of Sahih al-Bukhari
Sahih al-Bukhari 5991
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ كَثِيرٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، وَالْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، وَفِطْرٍ، عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو ـ وَقَالَ سُفْيَانُ لَمْ يَرْفَعْهُ الأَعْمَشُ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَرَفَعَهُ حَسَنٌ وَفِطْرٌ ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ "
‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who severs the bond of kinship with him."
Reported by Al-Bukhari (No. 5991), Abu Dawud (No. 1697), At-Tirmidhi (No. 1908) and Ahmad (No. 6238, 6496, 6525).
The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) mentions that the one who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship and shows kindness to his relatives is not that person who repays kindness with kindness, but the one who truly and perfectly upholds kinship ties is the one with whom if the ties of kinship are severed, he maintains them; and if they do wrong to him, he responds to them with goodness.
Lessons
Maintaining kinship ties in the Shariah is when you maintain the ties with those who sever them, forgive those who do wrong to you, and give to those who refuse to give to you; it is not about reciprocating goodness with goodness.
Ties with one's relatives are maintained by showing as much good to them as possible, in the form of money, supplication, commanding the right and forbidding the wrong, and so on, and by averting evil from them to the best of one's ability.
Explanation in Arabic
يُخبِرُ النبيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم بأنَّ الإنسانَ الكامِلَ في صِلَةِ الرَّحِم والإحسانِ إلى الأقاربِ ليس هو الشخصُ الذي يُقابِلُ الإحسانَ بالإحسان، بل الواصِلُ حقيقةً الكامِلُ في صلة الرحم هو الذي إذا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُه وَصَلَها، وإن أساؤوا إليه فإنه يُقابِلُهم بالإحسان إليهم.
صلة الرَّحم تكون بالزيارة واللقاء والتواصل، وإيصال ما أمكن من الخير من المال والدعاء والأمر بالعروف والنهي عن المنكر ونحوِها، ودفع ما أمكن من الشر عنهم.
تاريخ بغداد للخطيب البغدادي (1285)لَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ , وَلَكِنَّ الْوَاصِلَ الَّذِي إِذَا انْقَطَعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا
تاريخ واسط لأسلم بن سهل الرزاز (487)الرَّحِمُ مُعَلَّقَةٌ بِالْعَرْشِ ، فَلَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ ، وَلَكِنَّ الْوَاصِلَ الَّذِي إِذَا انْقَطَعَتْ رَحِمُ اللَّهِ وَصَلَهَا
تفسير يحيى بن سلام (44)الرَّحِمَ مُعَلَّقَةٌ بِالْعَرْشِ ، وَلَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ الْمُكَافِئَ ، وَلَكِنَّ الَّذِي إِذَا انْقَطَعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا
جزء فيه ما انتقى ابن مردويه على أبي القاسم الطبراني لابن مردويه (130)لَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ ، وَلَكِنَّ الْوَاصِلَ مَنْ إِذَا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا
