لاَ تَضْرِبُوا إِمَاءَ اللَّهِ " . فَجَاءَ عُمَرُ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ذَئِرْنَ النِّسَاءُ عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِنَّ . فَرَخَّصَ فِي ضَرْبِهِنَّ فَأَطَافَ بِآلِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم نِسَاءٌ كَثِيرٌ يَشْكُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " لَقَدْ طَافَ بِآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ نِسَاءٌ كَثِيرٌ يَشْكُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ لَيْسَ أُولَئِكَ بِخِيَارِكُمْ "
Iyās ibn ‘Abdullah ibn Abi Dhubāb (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"Do not strike the female servants of Allah." Then ‘Umar came to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and said: Women have become bold toward their husbands. So the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) permitted striking them. Then many women came to the family of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) complaining about their husbands. So the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Indeed, many women have come to the family of Muhammad complaining about their husbands. Those (men) are not the best among you."
Reported by Abu Dawud (No. 2146) and Ad-Darimi (No. 2122).
The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) forbade the beating of wives. Then the Commander of the Believers, ‘Umar ibn al-Khattāb (may Allah be pleased with him), came and said: O Messenger of Allah, women have become bold toward their husbands, and their manners have worsened. The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), thus, permitted beating them in a manner that is not severe if there is a valid reason for it, such as refusing to fulfill the husband's rights or disobedience and the like. Then, after that, women came to the wives of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) complaining that their husbands were beating them severely and misusing this concession. So the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: Those men who beat their wives severely are not the best among you.
Lessons
A clarification of the virtue of treating women kindly, and that being patient with them and overlooking their faults is better than beating them.
Allah Almighty made beating the last step in addressing a wife's disobedience, as He said: {As for those women on whose part you fear rebellion, [first] admonish them, [next] forsake them in bed, and [last] hit them. Then if they obey you, do not take further action against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High, All-Great.} [Surat an-Nisā’: 34] These three steps are to be followed in order, not to be applied all at once. One must begin with advice, admonition, and reminders. If that proves effective, then praise be to Allah. If it does not help, then comes separation in bed. And if that still does not result in change, only then may one resort to beating, as a form of discipline, not out of revenge.
A man is a caretaker for his household, and he is responsible for raising and disciplining his family with wisdom and good counsel.
It is permissible to question or review a scholar regarding his Fatwa (legal opinion), to understand its consequences and outcomes.
It is permissible to lodge a complaint with the ruler or a scholar if the complainant suffered harm.
Explanation in Arabic
نهى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم عن ضرب الزوجات، فجاء أمير المؤمنين عمر بن الخطاب رضي الله عنه وقال:
يا رسول الله اجترأ النساء على أزواجهن وساءت أخلاقهن.
فرخّص صلى الله عليه وسلم بضربهن ضربًا غير مبرح إذا وُجد السبب لذلك كامتناعهن من أداء حق الزوج وعصيانه ونحو ذلك.
فجاء بعده نساء عند زوجات النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يشتكين من ضرب أزواجهن لهن ضربًا مبرحًا، ومن سوء استعمال هذه الرخصة، فقال صلى الله عليه وسلم:
هؤلاء الرجال الذين يضربون نساءهم ضربًا مبرحًا ليسوا بخياركم.
بيان فضيلة معاملة النساء بالحسنى، وأن الصبر عليهن والتغاضي عما يكون منهن أفضل من ضربهن.
جعل الله عز وجل الضرب آخر مراحل علاج النشوز، فقال: (وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا) [النساء: 34]، وهذه الثلاثة على الترتيب وليست للجمع في وقت واحد، فيبدأ بالنصح والوعظ والتذكير فإن أفاد فالحمد لله، وإن لم ينفع يهجرها في المرقد، فإن لم يفد يضربها ضرب تأديب لا ضرب انتقام.
الرجل راع في بيته، فيجب أن يربيهم ويهذبهم بالحكمة والموعظة الحسنة.
جواز مراجعة العالم في فتواه؛ لمعرفة عواقبها ومآلها.
وعن إياس بن أبي ذباب رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول صلى الله عليه وسلم : "لاتضربوا إماء الله" فجاء عمر رضي الله عنه إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، فقال : ذئرن النساء على أزواجهن، فرخص في ضربهن، فأطاف بآل رسول…
