If you are as you say, then it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes, and you will continue to have a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do this
Chapter: Upholding Ties Of Kinship, And The Prohibition Of Severing Them
Authentic
hadith of Sahih Muslim
Sahih Muslim 2558a
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
A man said: O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I maintain kinship ties, but they sever them with me; I treat them kindly, but they mistreat me; I tolerate them, but they are intolerant with me. He said: "If you are as you say, then it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes, and you will continue to have a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do this."
Reported by Muslim (No. 2558a) and Ahmad (No. 7651, 8975, 9894).
A man complained to the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) about his relatives and kins and how he treats them kindly, but they treat him in the opposite manner. He maintains kinship ties with them and visits them, but they sever ties with him. He shows them kindness and loyalty, but they treat him unfairly and roughly. He tolerates and pardons them, but they are intolerant towards him, and this shows in their bad words and actions. Should he continue maintaining kinship ties with them despite what is mentioned?
The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said to him: If the case is the way you mentioned, then you disgrace and degrade them before their own selves as if you are feeding them hot ashes, given your abundant kindness and their hideous way of acting. You will continue to have a supporter against them from Allah that wards off their harm as long as you continue to be kind to them as mentioned and as long as they keep treating you badly.
Lessons
Reciprocating offense with kindness is most likely expected to make the offender return to the truth, as Allah Almighty says: {Repel evil with what is good; the one whom you have enmity with will become as if he were a close friend.}
Obeying Allah's command, even if one is subject to harm, is a cause for the believer to receive support from Allah.
Severing kinship ties entails pain and torment in this world as well as guilt and recompense in the Hereafter.
A Muslim should seek reward from Allah for his righteous deeds and should not stop his kind habit because of people's abuse and their severing ties with him.
The upholder of kinship ties is not the one who maintains ties with those who maintain ties with him; rather, the true upholder of kinship ties is the one who maintains ties with those who sever ties with him.
Explanation in Arabic
اشتَكَى رَجُلٌ للنبيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم بأنّ له قرابةً ورَحِمًا يَتَعامَل معهم بالحُسنى وهم يُعامِلونه بضد ذلك؛ فيَصِلُهم ويأتِيْهم وهم يَقْطَعونه، ويُحسن إليهم بالبر والوفاء ويُسيئون إليه بالجَوْر والجَفَاء، ويَحلم ويعفو عنهم ويَجهلون عليه بالقبيح من القول والفعل، فهل يَستَمِرُّ بالصِّلَة لهم مع ما ذُكِر؟
فقال له النبيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم: إنْ كان كما ذَكَرتَ فإنك تُخزِيهم وتَحْقِرُهم في أنفسهم، وكأنك تُطعِمُهم الرَّمَاد الحارّ؛ لكثرة إحسانك وقبيح فِعلِهم عند أنفسهم، ولا يزال معك من عند الله مُعين لك عليهم، ودافِع عنك أذاهم ما دُمْتَ على ما ذَكرتَ من إحسانك إليهم، وظَلُّوا هم على إساءتهم إليك.
مقابلة الإساءة بالإحسان مَظِنّة رجوع المسيء إلى الحق، كما قال تعالى: (ادفع بالتي هي أحسن فإذا الذي بينك وبينه عداوة كأنه ولي حميم).
امتثال أمْر الله ولو حصل له أذى سببٌ لعون الله للعبد المؤمن.
قطيعة الرحم أَلَمٌ وعذابٌ في الدنيا، وإثمٌ وحساب في الآخرة.
ينبغي على المسلم أنْ يَحتَسِب في عمله الصالح، ولا يقطعه أذى الناس وقطيعتُهم عن عادته الطيبة.
ليس الواصلُ لِرَحِمِهِ مَن يُكافِئ مَن وَصَله، ولكن الواصل حقيقة هو الذي إذا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُه وَصَلَها.
وعن أبى هريرة رضي الله عنه أن رجلاً قال: يا رسول الله إن لى قرابة أصلهم ويقطعونى، وأحسن إليهم ويسيئون إلى، وأحلم عنهم ويجهلون على! فقال: “لئن كنت كما قلت فكأنما تسفهم المل ولا يزال معك من الله تعالى ظهير عليهم ما…
